What Can You Do If You Want a Divorce But Can’t Find Your Spouse?

Divorce is rarely easy, but it becomes even more complicated when you cannot locate your spouse. Whether you’ve lost touch over time or they’ve deliberately disappeared, you may still be able to move forward with a divorce—though it will require additional steps and court approval.
At Tim van Rooyen and Associates, we understand that every divorce is unique. Here’s what you need to know if your spouse is missing and you’re ready to end your marriage.

1. Due Diligence: Make Every Reasonable Effort to Locate Your Spouse

Before a court will allow a divorce to proceed without the other spouse’s involvement, you must show that you’ve made a genuine effort to locate them. This is called “due diligence,” and it typically includes:

• Contacting known friends, family members, or past employers
• Checking social media platforms
• Searching online databases or public records
• Reviewing postal and utility records
• Doing a credit search 

Document every step you take—judges want to see that you've exhausted all reasonable options.

2. File for Divorce and Request Substituted service 

Once you’ve filed for divorce with the court, the next step is to serve your spouse with notice of the proceedings. If you can’t locate them, you can file a motion for “substituted service ”.
This means you ask the court for permission to notify your spouse by email, social media and even publishing a notice in a local newspaper (usually in the area where they were last known to reside). 

3. Wait for the Response Period to Expire

After the service via other mean or a notice has been published, the court allows a specific time for the spouse to respond—often 10 business days. If there’s no response, you can move forward with requesting a default judgment.
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4. Request a Default Judgment

f your spouse still hasn’t responded after the waiting period, you can ask the court to grant a divorce by default. This means the court will proceed without your spouse’s participation.
Note: While you may be granted the divorce, courts may limit certain types of relief in a default judgment—especially concerning property division, custody, or support—unless adequate evidence is provided.

Should not be able to find your spouse feel free to reach out to us for assistance.